#im gonna read so much next year
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Hobie1610 pt. 2
after god knows how long (months tho tbh), i am happy to present: hobie1610 part dos! In this installment, we see how Miles eventually rounds right back to Hobie Jones to apologize after pt. 1's gigantic blunder
hope y'all enjoy! :)
>pt. 1 here<
>pt. 3 here<
It was several weeks into the first semester-- with winter just right around the corner-- before Miles finally got around to confronting the little Hobie Problem that he had.
Being laden with pounds upon pounds of assignments to get done before the holidays and then trying to keep up with Spiderman duties on top of it all, managing his parents’ overwhelming expectations once again, and trying to survive as a teenager in general forced his first day blunder onto the back burner for much longer than Miles would have liked.
Sure, his anxiety is a bitch sometimes, and it holds him back from directly addressing a lot of issues in his life, but Rio didn’t raise any neanderthal. Miles knew that when he messed up, he messed up.
Problem is, every time he’s tempted to just reach a hand out to his dimension’s Hobie Br-- Jones, pat his shoulder lightly, pull him into a corner somewhere during lunch maybe, and finally man up and apologize… that’s when some crook starts some problems downtown, or some mad scientist finally snaps somewhere and starts to wreak havoc with crazy gadgets a bit too unnervingly close to his neighborhood.
Or Miles gets back to his dorm room and sees that he has an assignment due the very next day that he hasn’t even had the chance to hop on yet, because of aforementioned crooks and mad scientists.
It was all driving him crazy.
And so now here he was, up on a rooftop in the middle of a chilly fall day, hanging out with his inter-dimensional besties (who he lightheartedly calls the Spider Squad but he hasn’t quite brought that up to them yet).
They were on a lunch break after pummeling and restraining some prisoners-- who somehow got out of the Raft-- that tried to make their way across the Brooklyn Bridge. Miles sure appreciated the help, which was one of the many positives of letting Hobie Brown make dimension watches for everyone, mostly so they could all help another Spider shoulder the burdens that usually befell them.
But the teens-- being teens, of course-- also used their watches to just pop into an open portal and hang out with each other as often as they could. Who could blame them? Being a superhero and a kid was overwhelming most of the time. Sometimes they needed a listening ear or a supportive shoulder to cry on every now and then, and getting the opportunity to chill and explore a whole new world for them was always a thrill.
(Miles himself could never deny the excitement of getting to go to Mumbattan for shopping trips every so often, either.)
So with all of that in mind it was tempting to, after seeing the long and lanky punk Spiderman climb through his own multi-colored portal, ask Hobie if he could go back to New London with him. He needed to get something off of his chest.
Hobie, languidly as ever, hikes a skinny shoulder up in a nonchalant shrug and goes “ye’ sure, mate. Somethin’ up, or?”
Pavitr leans forward from his conversation with Gwen-- the little snoop, goddamnit-- and swallows a particularly big bite of his sandwich. “Oooooh, Miles and Hobie? Alone, in New London? Wow!” He elbows Gwen, who shakes her head and snorts into her bottled juice.
Miles puffs up. “Hey, it’s not like that! We just need to talk. In private. Nothing’s wrong, I uh… I just need some advice. That’s all!”
Hobie’s grin is full of teeth. “Waidaminnit. Miles Morales... Thee Great Miles Morales, needin’ my advice? Interesting!” His freeform locs bob and wiggle teasingly with every movement of his head.
Feeling put on the spot, Miles pouts as he picks at some lint on his spider suit and finishes off his soda as quickly as he can manage.
Gwen, bless her heart, notices his discomfort and scooches closer to him on the rooftop ledge. “… Is everything alright, by the way? It isn’t anything bad, is it?”
Miles glances at her before returning his gaze to the concrete several stories below. “Uhm, nah. Nah, it’s… y’know, it’s just more inter-dimensional weirdness. But I’m sure I can fix it. I think,”
He then shoots her a grateful smile for her considerate check-in, and pulls his mask back down over the lower half of his face. Gwen understands this as his “I’ll be back for another check-in later,” behavior and simply nods back. She knows not to push him.
“Well,” Hobie unfolds himself from his position on some scaffolding on the side of building, straightening himself up to his full height and stretching, “I’m all finished, then. Prob'ly not a good idea to go swingin’ on full stomachs, though. Let’s take a quick walk before headin’ home, yeah?”
Miles grabs Hobie’s hand and helps him hoist himself up over the ledge, and the teens all gather their trash into one plastic bag together. They chatter and slip their masks on as they casually walk down the side of the half-constructed building, finally touching down onto the concrete alleyways and relishing the quiet of an empty block before heading to the congested streets of downtown Brooklyn.
They all eventually bid each other their farewells after a few quick photo ops from excited New Yorkers, but of course not before Pavitr leans into Miles’ ear conspiratorially and whispers: “Let me know how it goes, bro! Good luck!”
Pav punches Miles on the shoulder lightly and winks at him, then he does a backflip into his golden-bright portal and blinks out of existence.
Miles rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “Does he want me and Hobie to be together, or me and you? I can never tell with that guy,” he groans at Gwen, whose shoulders are shaking with badly-concealed laughter.
“I think he just watches too many of those soap operas, honestly. Trashy daytime TV will do that to a guy sometimes.” She quips just as humorlessly.
Miles gives her a sidelong glance and a smirk. “Right. Rots your brain. Poor Pav!”
Gwen and Hobie laugh at that as Gwen pulls up her own portal.
“I’m thinkin’ we need t’ stage an intervention, really.” Hobie adds.
“Yes, and soon,” Miles points out.
“I’ll see what I can do to pull him away from those shows, but you know how his aunt is,” Gwen snorts. “Plus, I’m pretty sure Pav is just a huge romantic anyways, soaps or no soaps.”
“When I’ve got relationship issues, I guess I know the guy to go to, then,” Miles shrugs, then throws Gwen a casual salute goodbye.
She stands in front of white and multi-colored splotches of watercolor floating out from her dimensional portal as she salutes Miles back, giving Hobie a quick wave. “Let me know how your little inter-dimensional weirdness problem goes too, Miles! Talk to us in the groupchat every once in a while!”
And like that, she’s gone.
So now Hobie and Miles were left alone together.
Standing in the middle of a dirty alleyway on a cold autumn afternoon wasn’t Miles’ exact definition of a good time, though… why wasn’t Hobie opening his own portal right now? Miles turns his mask’s gigantic white eyes up to his dimensional variant (and boy was that a weird thing to think about when Hobie brought that up one day during a Spider Sleepover at Gwen’s) and gives him a pointed stare.
Hobie’s own painted eyes meet his.
“So…” Miles says.
“So…” Hobie says, his grin evident in his voice.
“Are we or are we not going back to yours?” Miles stuck his fists on his hips impatiently.
“First,” Hobie says as he holds up a long skinny finger, “I gotta know what this is about. ‘Cause we all know you, Miles. I don’t wanna enable any avoidant behaviors, mate. You know how it is.”
“What?!” Miles throws up his hands in the air. “Dude! SO not cool! You are not my dad.”
Hobie shakes his head. “You know I’m right, though. This ain’t about your parents, is it?”
Goddamn Hobie and his parental instincts. When is this guy ever going to get off of mom duty?
Miles huffs. “No, Hobie. It’s not. Look. I just, uh… if you don’t wanna go back to your dimension, then can we get away from like… this area in general, please?”
Hobie hummed in thought, then shrugged and shot a web up to a nearby street lamp. Together, the two Spidermen swung through the concrete jungle that was earth-1610’s New York City until they ended up somewhere near the Financial District in Manhattan, happening upon a sort of indoor rooftop terrace party that a bunch of corporate yuppie-looking people were enjoying behind giant glass windows. A few of those yuppies were out onto the actual rooftop smoking and talking amongst themselves in the cold while the party bumped along behind them.
The sun was setting quickly, and darkness descended upon both Spiderman as they scaled a nearby building and sat on a water tank to secretly watch the party from a little ways away. Miles took solace in the dark most times, and drank up the view of what few stars could be seen in the New York City skyline.
The clouds were scarce on this particular fall evening, so the red and yellow hues on the horizon were completely uninterrupted. Miles’ dimension took on an almost ethereal glow sometimes, and during this time of day, he was more than grateful for it.
Hobie was silent as he watched the sun set alongside Miles, until the entire city was enshrouded in darkness and the stars of the cosmos seemed to have fallen from the heavens and landed right onto the buildings and bridges laid out all before them. Lights from cars making their nightly rounds and tall buildings glittered all around them, and just beyond the skyscrapers, bits of the Upper Bay could be seen shimmering and reflecting the glittery light right back.
It was breathtaking. Beautiful.
But time was running out. They couldn’t sit here and watch the scenery and the people from several hundred feet away forever. Miles also knew Hobie had stuff to deal with in his own world, a million miles away from anything he could ever know. With a world-weary sigh, Miles finally takes his mask off fully and winds it up and around his hands, over and over.
“Your problem botherin’ you that much, Mi?” Hobie grins at his friend, taking his own mask off and running a hand through his locs.
“It’s just… I…” Miles chews on the inside of his cheek, wondering how to proceed.
It really was a weird problem to have, all things considered. There aren't many instances where someone pisses off a dimensional variant of their friend, and they have another version of that very same friend right by their side to ask how to even go about fixing the rift they caused in the first place.
“It’s just that I... like… I messed up pretty badly, right? And I know it’s totally my fault,” Miles is speaking quickly now, bottled up words now spilling forth like water, “but my anxiety started spiking up randomly out of nowhere and I just blew it, man. I wasn’t really thinking. Well, actually, I was. I was overthinking but I didn’t really mean to leave this guy hanging for so long afterwards and--”
Hobie throws a leg over his other one, propping himself onto an arm and leaning back to face Miles. “Okay. Okay, Miles, that’s cool. Thanks for the disclaimer, bruv, but we’re gonna have to start from the beginning.” He chuckles.
Miles laughs nervously. “Right, right. Yeah,” he takes a breath, licks his lips and tries again.
“So… on my first day of school I bumped into… you. I mean, not you, I mean like my dimension’s version of you.”
Hobie raised a pierced brow. “Wait, there’s another me here, too?”
“Yeah, yeah and I just almost crashed right into-- wait.” Miles’ brain took a second to buffer. “What do you mean too?”
“Ehhh, we found another me in some odd dimension or another. Y’know, like, one of those ones we don’t go to often. It was whatever,” Hobie shrugs casually.
Miles had a couple of questions about that but he decided to stick to the topic and not get distracted for now. “... Right, cool. So yeah, I almost crashed into you at Visions, except it wasn’t you.”
Hobie nodded. “You almost crashed into Not Me. Got it.”
“… Because I was late for class and not really, uh, thinking. Like at all. But it was you, you know what I mean? Not You is super bad at directions and navigating buildings, I guess, so I helped him out. Annddd I guess he wanted to be my friend afterwards, but.”
“Mhmm,” Hobie hums, in a tone that sounded a lot like him saying go on, then.
“Did you, uh… did you know your name is Jones sometimes?” Miles scratches at his ear awkwardly. “Hobie Jones, not Hobie Brown. It was weird when I found out, because another student said his full name and so that’s how I found out in the first place,”
Hobie inhales. “Hmm! Interesting. Dunno that I like the sound of that, if we’re gonna be honest here. Doesn’t really roll off the tongue the same, I think. But alright. Why’s that so important?”
“Uhhh,”
Hm. Shit. This was the part Miles dreaded getting to in the first place.
How was he going to put into words the weird dread that befell him upon learning that this Jones character might very well be this dimension’s version of his MJ? How could he possibly explain the thrilling electricity that races up and down his spine everytime he totally does not think about dating, kissing, possibly even having children with this other Hobie? How was he going to get that across to this super-cool, super-hot, super-put-together version of him?
Speaking those kinds of words out loud right to Hobie’s chiseled face made Miles slightly nauseous. He opted to circumnavigate that little problem altogether.
“Listen, don’t ask, okay? Seriously, man, I’m not playin’. Buuuut… if I pissed you off real bad, how would. Like, how could I make it up to you, theoretically speaking?”
Hobie exhaled a laugh. Miles could see his bright grin even in the low lighting of the night. “Huh? How’d you go from helpin’ Not Me out to pissin’ ‘im off all of the sudden? We’re missin' a step there, Milesie. C’mon now,”
Miles laughed too. “Ho-biieee, I already told you, man!” He hated how whiny he sounded, but this really wasn’t the time. “You cannot ask me about it!”
Hobie tossed his head like a horse. “Oh my god, mate. I can’t give ya solid advice when I don’t even know what the hell I’m givin’ advice for. I gotta know what happened, bruv, what’d ya do?”
“Just--! Ugh,” Miles deflated. “I maybe sorta... ditched him all of a sudden. Like, out of nowhere. When he, uh, when he needed me.”
Hobie’s glittering eyes bore holes into Miles’ hot face. “Mhmm? Why for?”
“Hobie, for the love of all that is good in the world, just--! Throw me a bone, here, man. I am dying of embarrassment right now!” He buried his face in his hands as Hobie rocked back with laughter.
“Why’d ya ditch ‘im?! That doesn’t sound like ya, Mi. Sounds like a real wick thing, but not a Morales thing to do. C’mon, what did Not Me say to you? You can pretend I’m him and I’ll apologize an’ everything.”
“No no no no, Hobie you don’t get it,” Miles sighed. “He didn’t do or say anything. That’s the thing. I just… I freaked out I guess, when I looked up his name and saw that he was a super accomplished model and everything. He’s got thousands of followers on Flickstagram, even. But I just…! I dunno what my brain was doing to me, once I saw that. I guess I just had a mini panic attack and just… bounced. Then, obviously I had tons of homework and Spiderman stuff to deal with, so ever since then, we’ve just been avoiding each other in the halls and I haven’t had any time to even tell him anything. I really messed up, man.”
Hobie was unnervingly silent as he thought for a good minute. The night had really fallen thick onto the city and the temperatures were dropping fast. Miles could barely see his own breath clouding in front of him or even Hobie’s face now that the darkness completely enshrouded them both, and it made him a little nervous.
“So…” Miles prodded carefully.
“Super accomplished model and everything, eh?” Hobie quietly asked after a little while. Miles couldn’t see Hobie’s expression, but he could hear the rhythmic rubbing of fabric against fabric as Hobie rubbed at his arm with a gloved hand.
“Uhhyup.” Miles confirmed.
“Hm. Utterly fascinated now, mate. Tell me more about this other me, then. He cool like me, or a total neurotic space cadet?”
Miles rubbed the back of his neck. “I mean, I can’t tell you much. We haven’t gotten to talk much. I guess you can be the judge, here’s his social media here...”
He then pulls his phone out of a recently-added pocket he found the time to sew onto his suit, taking inspiration from his mother’s own yoga leggings that she got as a birthday gift a few months before. The fact that spandex was able to hold so much but still stay so snug against your body was nothing short of a modern miracle, in Miles’ opinion. He was grateful for it now as he unlocked his phone and tapped on Hobie M. Jones’ page right out of the search history on his phone’s Flickstagram app.
Once he hands his phone to his friend, he has to resist the urge to suck in a breath as he watches the bright light from his screen illuminate Hobie’s features in ways he’s never seen before.
Hobie takes a second to scroll for a bit and Miles watches as the light plays across his features with just a bit more rapt attention than he normally would. Must be getting late, and Miles’ brain has historically been known not to work very well when he was tired.
Then, Hobie handed the phone back to Miles and folded his arms across his knees.
“Interesting, interesting,” was all he muttered. Thankfully, he did not comment on the “M. Jones” part of the username.
Miles tried lightening the mood. “Let me guess. You hate him because he’s not a fascist-fighting punk like you, huh.”
“I can’t be th’ judge of that, Miles. You know social media ain’t real life, and all that just looked like his portfolio to me, if we’re gonna be honest.” He checked his spiked bracelet in the light of Miles’ lit up screen. “I think that this other me doesn’t really feel too comfortable openin’ up and lettin’ other people see who he really is, though. So if you do go off an’ apologize to ‘im, I don’t think it’ll be very easy to gain his trust back.”
“Hold on,” Miles shakes his head and tucks his phone away again. “You got all that from looking at his Flicksta for not even a minute? How do you even know all of that?”
“’Cause he’s me, bruv. I know that look on his face, on those candids. Even them professional shots look… like, well, I dunno how t’ explain it. I guess it’s just sort of like--”
“If you know, you know?” Miles puts in.
“Mm,” Hobie smiles and nods. “Yep. That. He’s… withdrawn. Held back. I ‘unno… doesn’t seem like he has many friends.”
Miles sits back to think about the distant and carefully-put together mask that Hobie Jones slipped onto his face back when an annoying student butted into their conversation just before 2nd period that fateful day. Not to mention how famous he seemed, that the whole school wanted to pull him into a million different directions just for some selfies and autographs in general…
“He’s famous. He has a billboard up near the school, even,” Miles says without thinking.
“That explains it, then.”
Miles thought aloud for a bit. “He told me that I was the only person in the world who didn’t look at him like he was made out of solid gold. Hmmm,”
“Right then. That’s a start, eh?”
Miles sighed. “I-if… if someone who you thought could be like, your only friend in the whole world. Your only real friend… if that person abandoned you out of nowhere, with no explanation… how would I go about making it up to you?”
Hobie doesn’t comment on the phrasing of that question, either. He lays a warm hand on Miles’ cold shoulder and squeezes.
“Listen, Mi. You’re real special, you already know that. If he liked ya enough to wanna be your friend the very same day you two met, then I bet you can come up with somethin’ that’ll stick eventually. That being said… a little food ain’t never hurt no one.”
They stare at each other in the dark for a second.
“Uh, what?” Miles asks.
“Y’know. Like a peace offering. Bring ‘im a peace offering, make your apology, and then leave the poor kid alone. Let ‘im sorta… well, let ‘im kinda just chase you a little bit, right?”
Miles’ brow was raised high now. “What, like. Just leave some food and a note for him at lunch or something? Dude, that is so lame!”
“It’s about the mystique, mate. Trust me. Gotta keep the intrigue up, don’t crowd him too much or else you’ll scare man away, right? I hate when people grovel at my feet if I’m gonna be dead honest with ya. Don’t make too much of a big deal of it, and he just might forgive ya. You two'll be holdin' hands in no time,”
“Is that it? Is it really that easy?” Miles was skeptical.
Hobie shrugs and removes his hand from Miles’ shoulder. “Hell if I know, but if he’s anything like me, it just might work. Just be prepared to take it on the chin if he doesn’t forgive you in the end, though. Gettin’ ditched like that with no warning’s a bit hard on someone who’s never had any friends to lean on in the first place.”
Made sense to Miles. He shrugged, nodded, and then had only one question left to ask.
“… Cool. Got it. So, uh. What kinda food do you like, anyways?”
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And that was how Miles ended up making a quick run (swing, really) over to his favorite Jamaican store for a dinner plate with some beef patties thrown in during the next day’s lunch period.
He couldn’t afford to be seen by security, so he suited up at his usual place on the rooftop of the school and sailed down to retrieve his peace offering as quickly as he could before lunch was over.
What luck, that he had the same lunch as Hobie Jones! Made this whole run a pretty easy thing to do at all, which was always a bonus.
Once he made his way back to the school, he hurriedly stuffed his mask back into his bag and practically jumped back into his uniform, not even taking the time to stop and check if his suit was properly hidden. No time for that, when the period was almost over and he hadn’t even gotten a bite to eat for himself.
Miles also took the time to write up what he hoped was a sufficiently appropriate apology note the previous night after getting back to his dorm room at a late hour, and he tucked that into the crinkled paper bag as carefully as he could manage. A grease-stained apology note was definitely not a cool thing to receive, especially from someone who wronged you out of nowhere and wasn’t even man enough to say that apology to your face.
He arranged everything as best he could while flying down several flights of stairs down to the cafeteria.
Once Miles pushes past the double doors into the large cafeteria area, he feels the tightness in his chest and the heat radiating from his gut outwards intensify more as he gets closer to his target.
It takes a bit of wandering to finally spot Hobie, but then Miles sees him: sat at a table near the center of the room. He’s surrounded by a bunch of fake friends all talking loudly over one another and trading phones over their meals. Hobie Jones himself looks forlorn even when in the middle of a group, surrounded on all sides by bodies he doesn’t even look directly at, even when he turns his head slightly to speak to them.
Well, shit.
Miles was not expecting Hobie to have fallen into so large a group of friends so soon. He spotted the same girl who pulled him aside for a selfie that one time sat at the same table, and her and her little posse were just gossiping loudly about any and everyone.
Miles found his feet stuck to the floor upon finally laying eyes on the scene.
Ugh. God. A bunch of preps poking their noses into his and Hobie’s business while probably begging to read the very private note that Miles wrote for him was absolutely not anywhere in his list of things he’d like to experience today.
So Miles did a sudden about-face and walked away quickly, before he was even spotted.
Plan B was set in motion, then: give the bag over to Hobie before the next period.
Miles always dreaded the class he and Hobie shared right after lunch. The awkwardness subsided after a while, since it was kinda hard to feel so bad about The Incident when the entire class had to cram for quizzes and do research for essays, but the pit in Miles’ stomach as he purposefully averted his gaze away from that corner of the room was never easy to ignore.
But now, after weeks of gloom and doom, Miles found himself actually being excited for the bell to ring. He quietly made his way upstairs to the top level and slipped into the classroom as gracefully as he could manage.
Sure, he was nervous as hell about it all, at the end of the day. But he wanted this little problem that’s been put away for far too long to just… finally be done and over with. If for nothing else, he just wanted one less student at Visions hating his guts, really.
He placed the paper bag onto Hobie’s chair and scooted it underneath the desk to hide it from the rest of the classroom. The last thing he needed was some other nosy student swiping it up and rifling through the contents before Hobie could see it.
Miles ate part of his sandwich in the peace and quiet of the classroom, enjoying what precious little minutes he had until the bell rang and everyone-- including the teacher-- filed in to start the class’s lessons of the day.
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Miles’ simple plan was a success, just as his buddy Hobie Brown had predicted.
Hobie Jones had read the note quietly in his corner of the room and hastily shoved the dinner plate into his backpack soon after.
Miles didn’t know if that meant he was forgiven or not, but at least he took the (probably cold) food with him and read the note without tearing it up into a million pieces, so at least Miles had that going for him.
There was one last step to really clinch the victory, though; an invitation to meet up at the rooftop later that day, before the last bell finally rung and let all of the kids out of the school for the day. Miles still had a lot to get off his chest that he couldn’t quite lay down on paper, and he needed to properly apologize to Hobie’s face to finally put his conscience at ease.
Whether or not Hobie took the invitation was left up in the air, really.
Miles made sure to try and get a head start so he could make it up there before Hobie could, but he made sure to add “be up at the rooftop by 3:30pm if you’re coming or I’m bouncing” to the end of the note, because as much as he wanted to make amends with his dimension’s Hobie, he was not going to let petty school drama get in the way of Spiderman-ing.
Miles was a man of standards, and he held himself to some level of professionalism, thank you very much!
It was cold that day, very cold.
Miles was lowkey regretting his decision to meet outside now as he tucked his chin deeper into his big puffer jacket, warming his hands with his warm breath before shoving them into his pockets.
He hoped Hobie had gotten used to getting around the hallways a bit more now, and that he could find his way up to the roof level without becoming completely lost and just giving up entirely.
As the minutes crawled by, Miles found himself unlocking and locking his phone multiple times, checking the time, checking for any notifications to distract himself, and wondering just why he decided on the roof to meet instead of, say, his dorm room hallway or whatever.
Then, the roof access door slowly swung open, and there stood Hobie M. Jones in all his six-foot-something glory.
Miles sucked in his breath as Hobie’s big brown eyes scanned the roof and fell upon his face, and the both of them stood rooted to their spots for a split second like deer in headlights.
Then Hobie grunted, tugged at his ponytail to let it loose, and his long dreads fell all around his face in one graceful movement. Miles felt his mouth go dry.
Miles’ feet moved on their own. They met in the middle, and a strong wind rushed through to tousle Hobie’s impressive locs some more as they both stared each other down.
Miles finally opened his mouth to speak, feeling his voice catching in his throat for a split second, before being interrupted anyways.
“You don’t need to apologize,” Hobie says quickly, tucking his own chin into his expensive-looking jacket’s collar as well.
Miles’ brain bluescreened. “Wait, wha?”
Hobie huffed out a laugh, the vapors of his breath being carried away in the chilly wind like dandelion seeds. “I’m being serious, man. It’s… it’s cool, honestly. I get why you ditched me. It happens all the time,”
Miles’ heart sinks. “N-no, Hobie, look. I really messed up and I felt like I had to-- wait, what do you mean all the time?”
Miles had a sweeping feeling of déja vu overcome him then.
Hobie chuckled ruefully, shrugging as he shoves his hands deeper into his own pockets, mirroring Miles. “I mean, like… you think you’re the only one who ever ran for the hills after seeing how famous I was? It just happens. That’s my life, I guess.”
Miles’ lower lip stuck out a bit. “But that’s… dude. That is so depressing!”
Hobie shook his head, tossing a loc out of his face. “Sure, but it’s… it’s just my life. It’s just how things are when you’re a model around here.”
They looked sadly into each other’s eyes before Hobie averts his gaze to his shoes, scuffing the toe on the roof floor for a second before looking back up and continuing.
“… You, uhm. How’d you… how’d you know that I like Jamaican food, though? I’ve never told anyone about that before. Nobody but my family, anyways.”
“Uhh, lucky guess?” Miles offers him a lopsided grin.
Hobie smiles for real this time, the corners of his eyes crinkling just like his earth-138 counterpart. “You really are a weird guy, just like you said before. What else did you want to tell me, before we both gotta bounce?”
Miles gaped at him like a fish. “You… you have to let me apologize, though. Like actually. Before we both have to go.”
Hobie nodded. “Okay. I’m all ears,”
Miles took a deep breath. “I…!" His voice caught in his throat for a second. "Uh. Do you wanna maybe… hang out, like outside of school sometime? Maybe grab some more Jamaican food from my favorite place?”
Hobie looks at him with an unreadable expression on his face. “You… that’s your apology?”
Miles sighed. “I’m bad at conflict management, man. Just let me treat you to some more lunch and then… maybe we can just let this whole thing go, yeah? You won’t ever have to talk to me again after this, I promise!”
“You are seriously sending me mixed signals here,” Hobie says. But he doesn’t seem opposed to the idea.
“I know, I know! But please, just humor me, man. We can do it this weekend, even. I just… feel like a total dick after what I did and I wanna be able to actually make it up to you.”
Hobie directs his shy smile back down to the ground. “Jesus,” he mutters.
Miles holds his palms forward. “What? Is that a no?”
Hobie laughs, full and bright and it-- fuck-- it fills Miles with a dizzying thrill that makes him laugh, too!
“Fine… but if you ditch me again this time, you asshole--” Hobie grabs the front of Miles’ jacket and yanks it towards him, putting the both of them closer together and making a complete heatwave roll through Miles’ nerves, “I will-- uh,”
Miles doesn’t register why Hobie stops speaking all of a sudden until his eyes slowly follow down to what he’s looking at, and then both of their hearts stop at the same time.
In Miles’ earlier haste to jump into his clothing after his meal run, he forgot to button a few buttons on his shirt, which left his very visibly black and red suit out in the open with just one small yank of his coat’s zipper. The top of his red spider emblem shone bright against the dark spandex.
For a second, the world stopped. The wind stopped blowing, the cars down below stopped honking, Miles stopped breathing.
Then, he hastily took a step back and cleared his throat, hoping against hope that Hobie would not recognize the spider suit so easily.
“S-so, yeah? You’ll go? I, uh, promise I won’t stand you up if you do. We can, uhm. Exchange numbers if you want--” here, Miles starts fumbling around his pockets for his phone, a device that he clung onto like a lifeline moments ago now almost completely forgotten in the excitement of the situation.
Hobie swallows and takes a step back also. “Y-yeah… yeah, sure. Let’s uhm. Let’s link up later, then.”
Miles lets Hobie input his digits into his contact list, and then bids him farewell.
“I’ll text you later, okay? Gotta go now, bye!”
Miles almost wants to throw himself off the roof of the school just to land on the concrete sidewalks below with a splat. A flattened spider. It’s what he deserves, honestly.
But he swallows his embarrassment and rushes down the stairs towards his own dorm room, instead.
He seriously, seriously hopes Hobie didn't recognize his spider suit, goddamn!
Once Miles gets to his room, he sags against the door with a sigh and shrugs off his puffer jacket. Then, he fishes his phone out of the jacket’s pocket and flicks the screen on, which now has Hobie Jones’ digits input into it under the name of “MJ (from Visions)”.
Miles throws himself into his and Ganke’s shared computer chair and twirls over to the window.
It’s Miles. I am not ditching you this time, PROMISE, he sends over to the number.
A few minutes later, he gets a response and his stomach flutters with the chime.
You better not, Hobie playfully teases. I know where you sleep…
A few more knife emojis accompany the texts and Miles laughs out loud. Then he bites his lip.
Fuck… damn. This really is earth-1610’s version of MJ, huh. The name beamed straight into his eyeballs from where it sat right at the top of his messages and it continued to haunt him as he got his laptop out for the night to finally make some more leeway on his English essay.
Miles went to bed that night dreaming of him and a red-headed Hobie Jones holding Mayday.
#spiderverse#hobie brown#miles morales#punkflower#mine#*stadium cheering* miles did it!!! he did it!#with his awkward spider rizz he secured a dat-- i mean a hangout with hobie mfing jones!!#stay tuned to see what happens in part three 👀#and who knows..... there just might also be a part four.....................#<_<#we just might have to see!#also goddamn i know that pic i drew and threw in there is. bad. but ive been playing with markers lately since i bought them#so i figured i'd also use this fic lowkey as practice lmfao#pls excuse the weird mistakes and bad coloring overall. its been years. IM TRYING OK 😭#gonna hopefully add in a much better drawing to the next installment. just gotta practice more is all!#also this is my 1st time writing out hobie brown's dialogue with tha accent n everything#lemme kno how i did 👍 i tried not to make the accent TOO cringey to read!
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Annon with the 823 fics tracking everything they have read, it is 100% for my own Ao3 wrapped, and mostly to see the word count and look at how many fandoms I read and the trends of said fandoms. I already know how I'm going to edit my tracker for next year to make it better. (Notably adding a section to put in what I consider the 5 most important tags, because I didn't bother to do that this year bc it seemed like too much work, but I am so curious now)
I love how people who track these sorts of things start considering how to change it next year when they're not even close to the end of the year
It's me, I'm people
#fic asks#haveyoureadthisfic#pollblr#internet culture#fandom culture#fanfic#I keep a reading journal and im already planning out next year's#its gonna be so much better than my current one#this one kinda sucks#but hey its my first
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im going to be so annoying all week
#agghagahah HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HYYESAAHHHH#★ arin rambles#BRO BRO PLEASLE#PELASE#my apology for everyone. I have to make it now . Sorry. If youre following me destroy that notif button you dont wanna hear how worse i will#get#actually no just Unfollow entirely#ITS THE ADHD#PLEASE. HE IS SO . COOL. his trailer is so awesome IVE REWATECHED IT 3 TIME SNOW.#I LOVE HIMMMMMMM SO MUCHHHHH#I LOVE HIM SO BAD I JUST ADORE HIM PLEASE#HES SO PRETTY. JAW DROPPING. ICONIC. LIFE CHANGING. THE TEARS IN MY EYES. GENUINELY SOBBING RITHT NOW IT S SO OVER#aventurine likers hold me. Nobody understands. Everyone is scared of me im too crazy#actually its everything wrong with me . Hes ruining my life#i dont struggle as an aventurine liker i actually excel at this its my full rime job now#‘9 to 5’ no i work 9 to 9. Every hour is dedicated to him#im glad uguys agree with me thannk uou i was starting to think i was a freak#Well i am but im glad someone else agrees hes cool#Hes so pretty im so happy#I CAMT WAIT RILL WENDENSDAY PLEASE IM GONNA FREAKIFN BLOW UP#I LOVE AVENTURINE. I LOVE AVETURINE.#i get so happy when i see him i get a little violent its unsettling .#like im like shaking my hands and jumping around my room and then u blink and im bashing my head against the floor#its carpet. Im ok. But like not but i am#DUDE. I LOVE. THIS GUY. EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM#i needto. Just. Okay brb gonna watch ir like 20 more times ill see u guys next year im going into a Aventurine induced coma#this makes me realize people read my tags. Oh dear. Sorry everypony#i apologize for my behavior. I will get so much scarier.#HES SO COOL. HES ACTYALLU SO COOL. LIKE HOW CAN SOMEBODY BE SO COOL.#oh god OH LORERDRDRDDDDDDD WHEN I GET YOU BOY WHEN I FIND YOU. WATCH OUT. WATCH OUT I WILL GET YOU.
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the delight i feel seeing u on my dash again literally cannot be overstated. you are literally the reason i have a tumblr lmao. when i was just a little tween trying to find content for the movies i loved so much ur blog and fanfics were literally like finding the holy grail
i still think about “just fur you” with incredible frequency and forever hold the idea that hiccup made her hood close to my heart. (also your coffeeshop soulmate fic was the first time i ever saw either of those tropes and is also so near and dear to me 🩵)
also! as a live action remake hater seeing a reminder of the og movies is fantastic ;) i hope wherever you’ve been you’ve been well!!
HELLO!!! hi. pardon me i have to bounce around the walls like i am a DVD logo pingponging within the confines of a TV screen. i will return once i strike a corner [ x days later......... ] really, though — this message is so heartwarming; thank you for reaching out, for writing it, for sharing your kindness with me. it's wildly affirming that my art meant that much to you back then and that some of that joy is still felt today :') <3 i've been repressing some Self-Consciousness about my old work getting read again because the live action is rippling through the community, but you've put so much of it to rest with this. thank you. truly. ogughgHH i'm glad that there are people in the same corner about not loving live actions. if any movie were to encourage me to be more open-minded it *would* be HTTYD, and if nothing else i'm so excited for the resurgence of people enjoying the world and its characters and themes and music. i just,,, probably won't see it in theaters? idk? i'd like to, it would be fun, i'd enjoy Talking About It and exchanging opinions, but in general it's been hard for me to start new things. i've been finding a lot of comfort in rewatches and being in quiet corners where hype doesn't make me feel pressured to create, so i totally second you — it's a welcome reminder that the animated trilogy will always be there for us! and i am hopeful that i'll get to share my growth as a writer with this lovely circle again :3 thanks for the well wishes — it's been a ROUGH year, but i've learned a lot and i'm happy to be where i am. how are you?? if you had to describe your feelings for the last month of 2025, what are three words you would use???
#asktrxd#JUST FUR YOU is the goofiest fic name pun ever but it makes me so happy that it has resonated for this long#tbh i would want to see the live action in person just to cosplay in a theater so... here's to making That an art project for next year#hiccup's actor is 5'7" though and with that alone im like [snmniff. snork. snrmmmnnvv.] im fine its fine we will always have httyd 1 hiccup#i also. erm. havent read cowell's books despite loving books? so i dont have *that* much room to critique adaptations of this story#anyhoo i havent seen the trailer and my feelings are still developing so i'm gonna enjoy the ressuscitation of community for what it is:#WE FROGGIN LOVE DRAGONS HERE!!!!!
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I think The Outsiders is the only book that has succeeded in completely wrecking me to the core. Classic English class book for a good reason. Fucking HELL the last few chapters aren't off my mind
(If anyone has any book recs similar to The Outsiders I'd love to hear them btw)
#the outsiders#i also read the giver last year and man it was good#the giver didnt make me sad it made me think#but the outsiders? FUCK IM IN SO MUCH MISERY#im gonna be insufferable about this book for the next few days#ash talks and talks and talks
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i finished the duel monsters dub for the first time ever last night (!!!) so i figured i oughta lock down my faces for the aibous... what a show, man
#yugi muto#yami yugi#atem#puzzleshipping#yugioh#ygo#ygo dm#duel monsters#my art#ive had atems face pretty set for literally years but ive never managed a yugi i was 100% happy with... this one is MUCH closer tho#i might render this later + experiment with some other hairstyles for them... i prefer drawing them with afrotextured hair#sketch#there are so many other yugioh artists who do such PHENOMENAL interpretations of ygo hairstyles in diff textures & styles!!!#i dont think ill be bringing anything new or revolutionary to the table hsdfghjkl. but i wanna play around w it!#i wanna experiment with‚‚‚ atem mullet‚‚‚ similar to how i did it in my yami jareth art. the super long jellyfish mullet is so cute on him#also!!! its so crazy to me to be done w the DM dub!!! ive loved yugioh for ages but had never managed to finish the show#but i decided some time last year/the year before that i was gonna try again in Earnest and!!! wow!!! call me matchbox 20#because how far weve come...#this is a big deal to me ive been into yugioh (as an adult) since like 2014ish so this has been a long time coming!!!#im gonna read the DM manga next and i think we are gonna do DSOD this week#then i guess jump right into GX!!! ive been cosplaying jaden for so long its gonna be crazy to watch his actual series...#i only know him from bonds beyond time hsdfghjkl. AND BBT ABRIDGED... MY AUTISM MOVIE...#anyway. yugioh. 🥺🥺🥺💖💖💖😭😭😭💕💕💕
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apartment update: still no pictures cos everythings still Ass but that old desk of my sister in laws thats very nice and all but kind of in the way is gonna go to my old room in my parents house. and in its place im gonna get my old bookshelf from my old room. in my parents house
#its this like almost 20-year-old lundia that i think could do with an extra shelf piece#cos when it was first assebled i had this bigass cd/cassette player with big separate speakers#and theres this huge space to accommodate it all. i havent had that system in Years and now theres tons of empty air in there#where a Lot more books could fit#sure my record collections there but again i dont have a player. but i do have books. and they COULD fit that goddamn lundia#IF i only had EVEN THAT ONE extra shelf piece.#i do need to make an inventory of what books from that old shelf simply need to Go.#like for example i do Not need those hardcover finnish harry potter books#and i need to make a decision about the finnish hardcovers of dark towers 3 and 4#on the one hand story good on the other hand the translation makes me want to either kill myself or just. make a better translation#like the translations bad in ways that cant all be explained by sking being Like That#much like that shining translation i consulted for the finnish version of that gbu x shining fic. god that sucked ASS#i dont know if it was the same translator. but man. its like hey man do you like. Understand what youre reading. is this a first draft#anyway. the parents are going to the summer cottage tomorrow so the desk/lundia exchange wont happen till sometime next week#also also next week my brother and sister in law are coming over for tea (i need him to put up my curtains im too 160cm for that 😔)#and! im gonna get a pakig tomorrow. with a vacuum cleaner in it#home
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marnie’s first day of school🥹
#simblr#ts4#ts4 edit#ts4 legacy#ts4 gameplay#*marnie#*clementine#hart legacy#bf is playing xbox time to obsessively play sims#i think im gonna age marnie up this weekend#or early next week#or#at least start setting up the gameplay for her teen years#mayb i'll do a queue of childhood stuff and take the week to work on the save and characters#set everything up real cute for TEEN YEARS#simblr can b strange bc u spend like 8 consecutive hours playing and sooo much time passes in game#but not irl#so i feel like i've barely posted child marnie but i've been playing her foreverrrrr#if u are still reading my ramblings u are a trooper and ily#<3
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...
#my dads back in ohio again so im back on my own. i still feel terrible but at least i have a plan#i have 2 weeks of this semester left. so i have to not fail my genomics exam and work on a group project plus grade a bunch#shouldnt be too hard but everything makes me so tired rn and i just feel this barrier between myself and everything else#even when my dad was here. i just dont kno how to feel happy. just varied levels of stress#but after the semester is over ill have to find a job for the summer. which super stresses me out bc i havent really had a real job outside#academia and im worried about how stressful ill find it bc im sure its gonna suck but at least i wont have to work on my project#i just think if i had a normal job that doesnt dominate every aspect of my life id feel a little less terrible. or at least i wouldnt send#myself spiralling so much. if i stay here i might not survive it#but what if ill just make myself miserable wherever i am? i dunno. but im gonna try to find a non academic job this summer with the epa or#maybe the usgs. i mean ive gota a bachelor's and a masters in environmental topics. that's gotta count for something#just get a government job. pray for a not terrible set of coworkers. and build something from there#it just sucks bc i feel like everythings falling apart and like i kno if i gave it my all i could pull thru and get my phd but im just so#tired of struggling against something everyone else can do. i just cant read at a level appropriate for what im doing#ugh. i dont wanna study for genomics. i just wanna sleep. i just wish i wasn't in this position#and now i a baby about it. i mean my sisters r in similar positions bc the youngest is currently looking for a teaching job. and my middle#sister is looking to move to new york city in the next 6 months and she'd be quitting her job for that. so we're all sorta in flux#i just wanna not be flailing. not watch my hopes and dreams collapse. be excited about anything. im just sad bc i have to make hard choices#even if i know theyre the right ones to make if i want to continue to exist. sometimes u cant have the things u wany.#and that sucks and i hate it. theme of the year: sometimes life sucks and theres nothing u can do abt it#unrelated
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gonna sound dumb for a minute.
actually,,,, i dont think i want to do biology💀😭
#i just read So Much#and i cant remember stuff#and its honestly not even that interesting yet at least#and tbh iregret doing this cause wtf am i even doing brooooooo#self sabotaging max#because even if i somehow pull all my exams off and get this qualifications. im not gonna actually Know the stuff#and okay my point was that even if i do get these qualifications and my grades arent low enough to totally fuck up my scores#then im gonna have to move out. Next Year. i cant do that#i cant adult#how are people my age so Grown. wtf im still 8 istg#i dont wanna move out#im gonna have to just change my plan i wanna live at home until i get kicked out#ueydhshebrhryfhry#hey if all fails i’ll just find something else to do. like work in kindergarddn that education sounds more chill#maybe its not idk im not gonna do that#anyway#i lost my point here idk what i was talking about#oh yeah i think i just dont like school#why cant i just be on my phone and have fun looking at gay stuff and talking to my friends like puhleeasseeeeeeed#do u guys think stay at home malewife that does nothing to help out is a possible option
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i just hate the fact that unless i get a job theres absolutely zero percent chance im ever seeing live wrestling outside the small circle in my country again tbh
aew is already doing a bad by taking the ONE THING we got outside the states - all in - and giving it to fucking texas of all places (sorry to texans but im a hater this was europes one special thing and they fucked it up im so mad)
even if we got a tour or whatever; its just a known fact they would never come here. nobody does. unless you are a really big fucking deal, then maybe yeah, but aew? hell if the fed didnt sell even half the seats pre-pandemic, what hope does a less known company have LMAO
which would mean traveling out of the country. which makes it literally impossible with how expensive that shit is. "oh but just save money and you'll be fine!" im living from benefit to benefit at the moment, without a job. and if i could save any money from those benefits, they would know, as they require bank statements every few months to decide if youre doing poorly enough to get the benefits. so any savings = you have money = no more extra benefits to save. so unless i have a job or someone pays all this for me, i literally have no hope
so im sorry if im extra fucking sad during one of the biggest weeks aew has outside the us cause i know im never going to experience any of this cause everything mcfucking sucks in my life good day ✌
#im trying to live through moots on twitter who are there but im just sad#especially since i think back to last year and i still feel like i didnt deserve going then with how much effort everyone else put in for m#idk. i hate this. i hate that this is my one chance for anything and now they are taking a lot of it away for next year and who knows#for how long. and i cant do anything about it cause my situation is already shitty and difficult and yeah#im also currently sick so im double the miserable and yeah#sorry i need to complain. whatever. youre not gonna read this lmao#night is an absolute mess on main
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Actually we r at 6 months now without any major deaths in my life, which is great! That's the longest I've gone without any major deaths since last May! The second longest was 4 months between July and November last year. Wow !
#speculation nation#negative/#i mean not exactly but also. ya kno.#really i dealt with death after death in may july november and the biggest in february#actually i think my great grandma died within the span between july and november. but i wasnt close with her & dont remember when#so idk if id count that. if i did then the longest would be 3 months. between november and february.#all this is to say. wow what a Fucking year last year was huh#i still dont rly feel like i have much trust in people staying alive in my life.#but maybe im a bit less scared of even more people in my life suddenly dropping dead.#... then again now i apparently have something wrong with my liver. which i am still not happy about.#the only reason why im not dying of anxiety is bc i still feel relatively normal overall.#but i also just remembered how. well. 28 has Long been my unlucky number. and im turning 28 next year.#so ive been half convinced im just gonna die when im 28. bc thatd be just my luck wouldnt it#and like overall theres no real reason why i Would die at that age. but now theres something wrong with my liver.#and like ok i dont think it's liver failure. i dont have any real symptoms for it#and if it was an emergency my doctor wouldve told me to go to the hospital. probably.#but idk. my truest anxiety about it is that it could be something cancerous. or something.#and really i have no reason to suspect that specifically. it's just one of the potential causes for the enzyme abnormality we found#but bc it's not entirely off the table. well now my mind has latched onto it. and is like 'What If'#and ok i just now looked into possible liver diseases to try to calm my anxiety. with mixed success.#bc i found all sorts of liver diseases. including cirrhosis. which is irreversible damage.#im just clinging to the hope of the fact that my readings werent Too high... just.#every single one associated with the liver was high. which means theres Definitely something wrong with my liver.#and im kind of scared it's bc of my prior alcohol use. i wasnt an alcoholic but i did drink pretty regularly for a bit.#but also how unfair would it be for me to get a liver disease from that??? the most i ever drank at one time was 8 shots#which is a lot but there are some people doing that kind of thing Regularly. and they dont get liver disease???#regardless this has been extra persuasion to stay off the alcohol. especially until i know what's up with it.#heyyyy mr liver inside me i prommy i will take good care of u from now on. pls dont die on me 😭😭😭#see ok this is what happens whem i start to think. i get anxious. i just need to keep not thinking.#it's 10 pm i think thats a good time for sleepies
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I found an old fidget spinner and I've been using it (it's been very nice ^_^) but I forgot !!!! It's glow in the dark !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#the sky speaks#literally incredible#its nice for restless energy tho i hav so much of it rn i wanna hop skip n jump#just saw my mom a couple hrs ago#it went good !#shes doing okay in the rehab place. better than the last place she went to but theres atill been drama#and theyre pretty understaffed#but nice :)#my weekedn is PACKED!!#tomorrow i work at the zoo then friday im going to fright night#then saturday is visitation for mom again and afterwards is thomas and carries bday party#then Sunday im going to thomas and carries AGAIN to play minecraft togwther#OH and friday i also am going to my moms job#next weekend is packed too dear gdo#and i wanted to open commissions gdi. not gonna happen for a while im afraid#maybe in december ?#ive barely been drawing#too busy#not enough energy to be creative. mainly been playing chill games and reading fanfic ij my downtime#oh i also had my last session w my therapist today! shes having her baby soon so i wont see her til after the new year.... kinda sad tbh#i came out to her as trans last week and we talked abt it some today tho!!! it was rly nice i had never talked abt it out loud before#felt lighter afterwards. she told me to write down everything so i can organize my thoughts better when i tell my parents#bc i wanna tell them at some point. i RLY want a breast reduction dear god. and ive gone back and forth on hrt. still contemplating it#sometimes dad will call me his 'favorite son' as a joke when i help with like. yard work or handy stuff. makes me happy#he sorta knows im gender fluid but not totally?#im juat rambling at this point. goodnight everybody 😴
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i will shut up abt this i promise but like. the concept of being in a stable safe mutually loving whatever relationship is INSANE . like how can you ever feel bad about yourself or wounded or whatever again. it’s like a superpower or somethi ng. <- doesn’t know what she’s taking abt bc she’s never experienced it or the absence of it after having it merely the negative space of it and is filling in the gaps w logic or something. but it’s INSANE to me. like of course i feel like shit about myself i am catcrumb unloved.jpg!
#purrs#imbeing insane about it i know it’s not that simple / reductive and i will still feel like shit abt myself once im in a relationshp (if i#get to be ♥️) and there are lots of other legitimate reasons to feel shit agtbyiurself. but it’s like no ficking wonder i feel inadequate i#am a 24 year old who lives at home and has never held a hand or whatever next to two 50sometjinf year old married men with pets and phds. of#course i am going to feel inadequate and stupid and lonely. like i canttttt 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 and th w worst part is you can’t just go out into#the world saying that and looking for that it has to find you so i will not join any dating apps or whatever but i don’t fucking go anywhere#so im not going to meet anyone and i knowi am so young and stupid and just having a horrible day that is reminding me of horrors. but the#way i am mentally shoving my whole fist in my mouth. OF COURSE I FEEL LIKE SHIT I DONT HAVE A LIFE PARTNER!!!!!!!!!!!! I DONT HAVE THAT#SAFETY AND STABILITY AND TRUST AND UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!!!!!!!! AND I NEVER HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#delete later#like this is what makes me crazy abt parents and kids too and whyi don’t think ihave kids. bc i think (and i know this is wrong / unhealthy)#it is a primal human need to be mutually someone else’s number 1 person and when you have kids it’s like you’re gonna love your partner more#than the kids and then the kids (read: me) watch that and get fucked up over it. but also that could just be me reacting to the UNSPEAKABLE#psychological damage of being a twin. which again is ridiculous bc it’s n out like abuse i just had to share something with someone else si#since before i was born and ofc there was more like actually kind of abusive stuff on top of it LOL but that aside. idk what im saying i#just feel so crazy. the amount of composure it takes me every day to not start SCREAMING with frustration and envy when i see ppl being#RIGHTFULLY DESERVEDLY visibly confident and loved. like ok valentines grinch go sit in the drainage pond forever please. but it’s so crazy#like how are you supposed to go through the world unaware of how much love you’re missing out on because you’re young and then you realize I#it and then somehow you miss the train and you are scared you are going to d*e alone ♥️ im normal
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gross
#tomgreg#THEYR E SO CUTE IM GONNA actually be sick.#i hate so much tom's fuckin. laugh here bc its so high pitched and heS NOT HOLDING BACK. AGAIN.#something something he's his true self around greg something something after years of repression he feels alive again something something#schoolboy tom makes another appearance. he's so playful!!!#AND TOUCHING GREG'S SUIT AGAIN. just like the tie before in fucking UHHH i cant remember the episode. but s2 i think.#he does it really quickly though. like he remembers they're in public and he's gotta stop treating greg like they really are spouses.#and abt the next part don't worry i'm gonna be. talking. about That. but this part gets its own bit bc!!!!!! man#OH AND DONT THINK I DIDNT NOTICE GREG TOUCHING TOM TOO. TOUCHING HIS ARM UNNECESSARILY. they're so touchy here. sigh. sigh.#yet not a hug. just light touches. a hug would be too friendly. if that makes sense? these touches are more. spousal.#like you'd hug your mate at a party right. and sure you might hug a partner or spouse. but idkkk idk it reads more.#just the touchings of the suits. oh you look nice tonight dear. don't wanna spoil your pretty outfit. that'll happen later at home. GODDDDDD#BECAAAAAUSE OF WHAT THEY SAY NEXT!!! THE WHOLE. PROVE IT THING! OH HH GODDHNWEW#my head cracks open. ok okok ig ot ta go i'm going i'm fucking. bye#im so fuckin pressed about the nero sporus thing IF TOM HADNT SAID THAT BULLSHIT I WOULDNT BE THINKING SHIT LIKE THIS#i mean maybe i would BUT I WOULDNT ACTUALLY PUT ANY STOCK IN IT BC HE WOULDNT HAVE SAID IT OUT RIGHT. god. i'm in pain#lord send the plagues. end my suffering
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im at work and when i come to work on sundays i come in at 9 even tho we open at ONE PM so i get to sit here for 4 hours and "get work done" and what that really means is i get to read a moomin book i had sent from cleveland public main branch
#its actually 3 1/2 hours bc i have to take my lunch before we open#and i only get to read nonstop when im the only one in the childrens office (so when the other weekend person is a part timer)#(because part timers come in at like 12:45 bc theyre part time)#anyway considering the mlis for this fall 🤔 but jake is thinking of looking for a new job late this summer and we're also gonna buy a house#so im like uuuuhhhhh is that too much to do in one year.....#i COULD push it off until next spring or fall but alsooooo i just wanna do itttt#but next spring might be better than this fall for my start date hmmmm#still thinking a lots#t
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